teaday: blog

13:28

GRAD-TITUDE: THE UPGRADE TO ADULTHOOD

SO YOU'VE GOT THE £27,000 PAPER IN YOUR PALMS, WHAT NEXT?

howdy-do darlings,

Song : The Flaming Lips // Do you Realize?

I lay in bed.

Locked eyed in limbo with the ceiling, playing a ruthless game of who will blink first.
Occasionally, I sit upright and plonk letters on to the screen. Digitally coating them in Tipex seconds later. Rolling choruses of deep sighs echo from my lips, as intrusive thoughts harmonise lyrics like:

• so whats the next step babe?
• how much did they say I have to start earning till I pay student loans back again?
• why did football decide to not come home, just when I came back home from thailand?
• I hope I can actually do something I like, so my toilet breaks are for just that - secretion.
• so if I start calling myself a creative, is that me inconspicuously conceding to the pretentious millennial archetype? one that, like, eats brunch and believes work should be the act of doing something you like.
• can a country get menopausal? better that than climate change to explain this heat.
• damn it. I blinked.

Ladies and gentlefellows, behold a graduate.
We are a strange breed. Not quite 'adult' enough to moan about tax or miraculously morph into the conservatives we are warned we will become. Not quite 'kid' enough to do shit-all all day and not quake in the belief that the boogeyman is coming to get us from underneath our beds. The boogeyman in this instance being the all-encompassing weight of hollow worthlessness and nasty nihilism. Yes, he is still living underneath our beds. Don't judge him. Have you seen the state of the economy?

To be a graduate is to receive a barrage of pop up notifications, aggressively reminding you to upgrade your IOS to adult. All the while your storage is either full of self-aggrandizing selfies and unhelpful apps. Or you’re using Android. In which case you are already 98. [Android users I still love you, apologies]. Point being, you’re in a purgatory of sorts - actively waiting for the next stage. Although being in limbo is a pre-requisite of change, and change is a pre-requisite of life, its bloody annoying at times. And you don't have to get stuck there. It is easy, I think, as a new grad to feel like you're playing stuck in the mud with yourself whilst everyone else runs amock. But as we all know comparison, is almost never a fun game to play [unless you're playing spot the difference].

HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS LIMBO THEN YOU GORGEOUS GRAD?

Don't lay in bed or play games with your ceiling would be my top tea-p.

Following that I would say you should:

Leave your house. Regularly.
Set a schedule.
Recognise your daily accomplishments.
Learn from your off days.
Compare your efforts, not your outcomes.
Have a persistent sense of perspective.
Keep that chin up baby...I mean *adult.

Gradulthood isn't easy, but just like every IOS update notification, we will cave in and upgrade.

Huge congratulations to all of you recent graduates! You are, and will, do just fine.

I'll leave you with the parting words from the lyrics of the tune of this post - take what you will from it:

"You realize that life goes fast

It's hard to make the good things last

You realize the sun doesn't go down

It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round"

Tea x x 

06:07

TEA IN THAILAND PT.1

1. PACKING: WHAT DID I SQUEEZE IN?

hi groovy catz,

Song : Tune Yards // Look at your hands

Seeing that my soon to be graduate ass is about to [hopefully] maneuver itself into a cushy graduate job and waddle into its cushy graduate life. I decided to do something that would give it a big ol' adventurous kick up the bum. A kick that'll send it flying 5931 miles; all the way to the magical land of Thailand.

My ass isn't wandering alone for 3 weeks, oh no no, it's dragging my good pal @Bonjourchloe along for the ride. As someone who is the polar opposite of those "Pinterest wanderlust" adventurers, its so invaluable to bring Chloe, a fellow inexperienced-scared-of-planes-worry-wart, along with me. It will be fun; scary but hilarious.

Hence the creation of the expertly named TEA IN THAILAND series. Which was almost nearly named Thaitea, Thaitime, and the worst yet...Tea T(ha)ime. [you have my best mate Tristan to blame for that atrocity]. In these blogs, I hope to give somewhat of a helpful guide for other worry-wart beginner travellers, and also just document the highs and lows, W and L's and just general shenanigans from my own learning experience!

So now, you can virtually kick your own arse 5931 miles to Thailand and live vicariously through Tea.

In this post, I'll fill ya' in on my itinerary, backpack info and what I stuffed in it.

ITINERARY: WHATS THE PLAN LUV?

The plan is simple enough. In short:
BANGKOK
(plane)
KRABI
(bus + boat)

KOH SAMUI
(boat)
KOH PHANGAN*
(boat + bus + overnight train)
BANGKOK(train)
CHANG MAI
(train)
BANGKOK
(bye bye rainbow)
HOME
*on the map, it's basically next to Koh Samui. BFFS.
If you're going to Thailand and stumbled across this whilst traversing google, here are some lil' facts that helped me:

> You will have to stop @ Bangkok when going in between the North and South.

> Travel will most likely be booked when you are there, as the travel agents can sometimes do sweet deals for you. But these sites definitely helped us plan and get a rough budget:

https://12go.asia/en

https://www.seat61.com/Thailand.htm (he's amazing!)

> Use a google spreadsheet to plan !! (especially if you're a planner like me)

> Great train services, BTS + MRT (£3) that also goes to the airport instead of straight up jumping into a taxi's

> Beware of scams!!!

https://theculturetrip.com/asia/thailand/articles/11-scams-in-thailand-all-tourists-should-avoid/

WHAT BACKPACK ARE YOU USING?

So the backpack stitch was a bit of a kerfuffle, as we couldn't decide if we wanted one that was massive and we could check it in but have to splash out an extra £20. Or whether a single carry on would suffice. In the end, I ended up choosing the latter. Hence it had to be:
55 x 38 x 20 cm and 7kg (for three weeks)

My Backpack is a 35L
(which doesn't mean liquid if anyone is confused like I was ha, just means something like the amount you can fit in)

I chose so because, one, I wasn't bringing a lot of liquids. And two, with the help of good friends subtly berating me for trying to bring my whole wardrobe, I managed to cut down the clothes I packed. I did a packing trail run, 3 days before and succeeded in stuffing my bag full 6kg - with the hopes of leaving room for some cheeky purchases when I'm out there. (Yes, elephant pants. Judge me all you like. I'm gleefully judging myself).

WHATCHA BRINGIN'?

Initially, I'm not going to lie, I took the piss with what I packed. So I unpacked, tried again, and took the piss again. Now, however, I do believe I am only ever so slightly taking the piss. Which at least show some sort of amelioration...thank you. Right so here is what I brought:
CLOTHES
> 6 knickers
> 2 pairs of socks
> 1 pair of sunglasses
> yellow kimono
> 8 tops
> 1 playsuit
> 4 dresses (wear one on the plane)
> 2 light scarfs (to use as tops/head wraps)
> 1 legging
> 1 skirt
> 3 shorts (wear on on the plane)
> 6 bikinis (I was spoilt for choice ok, ha)
> pj top
> towel
> 1 sun hat
> 1 tote bag
> 1 sandal/converses (wearing the converses on route)

EXTRA
> makeup bag (my basics)
> electronics bag (portable charger and plugs)
> a book
> a fan
> bumbag (with money, passport, pen etc)
> 4 wigs

LET THE FUN BEGIN.

This trip is still a surrelistic reality. I think one of the reasons why this trip is such a tangible big embarkment for me and Chloe, is because we have been, not sheltered per say, but more so risk adversed nearly all our lives. We bloody spent lifetimes scouring though, what can only be described as the entirety of the internet in order to placate any and all remnants of fear. At one point we were looking at Thailand car dashcams to gauge how safe the roads are out there. Even worse, Chloe practically tried to take our entire trip through the medium of google maps street view... yes walking, every step. Hahaha. We know it is utterly bonkers. We know people take gap years, yet alone 3 weeks, travelling unplanned and even solo. But even though our fear is somewhat debilitating and tries to prevent us from what will give us fulfilment - we are hopping on that plane come Sunday.

And for that, I am proud of us.

It's going to be one hell of a ride, with me Chloe and my 6 bikinis. ha.

Hope you all continue to stay beautiful inside and out.

Tea x

14:23

COLOUR COLLECTIVE | DAY 7

TEA AND THE AMAZING MULTICOLOURED DUNGAREES !

hi hi !

It was a month ago since I decided to do a blog-a-day for a week, calling it the colour collective. Each day, I write some content with some sort of [tenuous to nearly none existent] link between it and a particular colour!

I'm happy to say I have managed to complete a brand-spanking record of 7 days worth of posts in...2 months. This is where you clap.

Merci x

[Side note: do all my posts begin with a sentence of self-deprecation???? oh shit yeah, it actually does...what a twat]

2 SECTIONS TO THIS POST:

1. The first section will be bright.

A year ago or so, I bought these, like, size 27 denim dungarees. I saw it was size 27, closed my eyes and bought it in hopes of it loving me enough to shrink. Safe to say it was unrequited love, although I loved it enough to expand, it was a bad ass bitch not willing to change for no man/desperate girl. So I embarked on a DIY project to make these jeans work by fire or by force [as my Mumma would say].

First thing I did was to cut off the legs. Otherwise, it would be too overwhelming, Oversized chic taken to its extreme. After cutting the legs, I had to choose between fraying the ends or rolling it up- I went with rolling. Although that makes my bum look like a saggy botched attempt at Kimmy K's tight arse. But it still works. The last alteration I did, came about after the sad sad sad death of my favorite rainbow umbrella. tragic loss. forever missed. I'm sure it's back to where it belongs, Homebargains umbrella heaven.

After grieving, I had a wine night by myself in my uni home and randomly got the inspiration to DIY. So I cut it up into strips and glued it on to my dungarees! Next time I DIY I shall try and remember to take step by step pics. I loved the outcome, by far my fav DIY!
[In the process of doing an experimental diy on some £2.50 mum jeans from the charity shop. fingers crossed!]

2) The section will be from the heart.
A self-introspective health check of sorts
For the most part, I am in a great place.

Going into 3rd year, reaaaaallly hoping to graduate with 1st if I work hard. Finished 2nd year with a solid 2:1. So it's achievable. Fingers crossed !!
Finished my internship at a super company, and met some kind hearted folks, couldn't have gotten a better place with better people.
I know round about what I want to get into. Still vague nonetheless but hey who bloody knows exactly what they are doing with their lives at 20!!!!! [ all my medic friends and that kid from Child Genius...]
My mental health is strong and stable at the moment, although just like the tories, my mind is always ripe and ready to make cuts to my health care. But that's just me being cynical. I should stop anticipating a breakdown. Instead, I should listen to @Bonjourchloeblog and charge my chakra. :)
I'm motivated ready to blog more, paint more, draw more, create more - L I V E !!
I want wine... [ that's irrelevant, just wanted to let you know.]

Lastly, I wanted to mention a little about what I want for my blog.

I want my blog to be a reflection of me and what I value. One of those values that I place at the top of the ladder is authenticity and truthfulness of character.
I can't stress how much I crumble as a human when I find myself in environments where I feel don't emit that. This space is free. This space is unapologetic. This space...can't be tamed*.
I personally don't want cookie cutter. I support blogs who portray the best picture of their lives- that's dope for them. But for me, I want to take Insta stories where I look like I have ingested a liter of dope. [love drinking dope me]. I still feel super insecure, but I want to show the good, the bad, the ugly, the dope fiend. I want to beat the voice in my head. I want transparency.
I want a tight blog community. I want interaction. That is my aim. That is my goal.
My other goal is to write opinion pieces that make people think and question themselves- whether they disagree or not- I do not give a shit. Tell me why? Talk to me? I'd like to understand and have fab discourse. [It's a dead give away that someone studies some sort of humanities when they say discourse instead of discussion/chat/natter/banta]

* Credit to Miley, she ain't tamed at all.

Thank you my bodacious rainbow babes for reading,

Have a good one.

tea x x

06:43

COLOUR COLLECTIVE | DAY 6

Hallo all!

So let's not gibber gabber about the fact that I have neglected my 7 day blogging extravaganza plan lol. Listen I tried ok, lets put our emphasis on whats really important...the trying. :)

I think the next post will be more of a little update post- outlining my current mindset, which thankfully is largely positive at the moment. I've kicked apathy up the bloody arse...but he's a persistent fellow, very charming. Always managing to smooth talk me back to bed for days, where we do unspeakably nasty things...like eating 6-day old chorizo slices.

But let's not ruminate over old flings today, today I want to add one more juicy colour to the colour collective...
Ostensibly Orange.

So in all honesty, I think I have struggled to start discussing this topic, not because I lacked motivation (first time for everything innit). rather it is because when a topic is either very nuanced or is significant to me the perfectionist in me starts putting up a fight with her well-manicured nails. I want to get it perfect. So I put it off...which is counterproductive and quite frankly a dumb ass approach.
So screw it imma talk hair, and just like the state of my hair right now, it's gunna be messy.

*I'm only speaking of the black experience as that is what immediately corresponds to my experience however my awareness extends to other marginalised groups. Trust, I see you boo.

This post will take you through a journey, my journey, my long ass journey, of curl acceptance. But before focusing on my particular experience, I want to explore the general social, political and cultural landscape and perception regarding curly hair/afros. As well as the attitude of various groups towards the "black hair acceptance" movement.

Without being intentionally segregating, I feel as though this topic will inevitably resonate more acutely with fellow black females - who feel the external overt and covert aversion towards tight t i g h t curls. But, Larry, even if you don't resonate you can attempt to harken to the issues of your curly sistas.

Ok so firstly.

1. IS BLACK HAIR ACTUALLY BLACKLISTED:

Many a time I've been very unlucky or blessed (depending on your perception) to stumble upon a plethora of Facebook argument about whether or not 'black' hair in all its variation, is actually looked down upon. I am a humongous advocate for discourse and listening as much as you can to those who you fundamentally disagree with - but that's a blog post for another day. Let's have a lil look at the for and again that I've come to see:

YES IT IS vs NO IT IS NOT:

I fall into this camp. Suprise surprise. Although I can confidently say, as with most things, society has improved itself. Undoubtedly society is less racist/sexist/homophobic, at least in overt terms. Similarly, it is undoubtedly still plagued with covert (and some overt) remnants of its more shameful eras...Charlottesville. I mean, feel as though no more needs to be said to illustrate more work is desperately needed. But linking back to black hair, modern society has to a large extent overtly come to be increasingly accepting of curly fro's Nowadays you can spot the odd naturally straight-haired Senorita burning their scalp in order to curl it up [whether that's appropriation or not is an interesting topic to discuss in another post] [gosh who knew the topic of hair was so ample.] As well as magazine's now posting the odd black curly haired celebrity/model on its covers etc.

But important points to ponder upon are

Whether the acceptance is restricted to loose 3c curls that are usually prevalent in women of mixed descent. As opposed to short tight afro curls; I feel a though there is definitely a disparity. Which I think I am able to perceive more aptly seeing that my Nigerian ringlets only loosen up when burnt to a crisp by relaxer- which I have rebuked from my life.
Which standard of beauty is still put at the forefront is mass media predominantly? Is black hair a peripheral, just "token-ly" tossed in some publications to tick off that marginalised group's representation. If that is the case, is that even fixable? Will one group always have to be predominant, or is it possible to have equal representation of all groups?

Just some things to ponder on.

An important thing to also note is that the progress that mass media has made, in terms of featuring BW has largely emanated from the external rebellious and subversive fight of majority black women. I remember whilst I was in high school, in like year 8, my sister in college at the time [@grababargain_uk] was writing her sociology essay about the underrepresentation of black women on Stylist Magazine, I think it was, and back in those recent old days, representation was abysmal. It wasn't until black women started hyping up themselves and repetitively telling themselves they are beautiful despite what the external may be saying overtly/covertly, did it seep into main media. I remember hating my hair so vehemently, ramming my dying hair into the hellish embrace of straighteners, who would do just that with no remorse. My desperation for straight hair overpowering the screaming plea for water and moisture my roots were begging for.

To be fair no self-respecting 2010-2012 emo would spare a curls life. I killed all of them, whilst moshing in my room.

I recommend watching Good Hair by Chris Rock. I watched some but I need to finish it one of these days. It was hilarious whilst challenging you to contemplatively question your perspective.

2. "BUT ITS JUST HAIR":

In the Facebook comment section arguments, I saw a lot of "literally it's just hair..." "libtards and BLM begs are just being annoyingly sensitive". And in response to that, I saw " you are racist." "You are a white man. Your opinion is invalid" "ok mayonnaise".

Firstly, if you want to see several examples of how to engage in constructive discussions and you find yourself staring at a facebook argument, gauge your eyes out immediately- #toptip

But to the "it's just hair" proponents. Hair does at first glance seems trivial ill give you that. But think. obviously, being overtly told that "nappy" hair is ugly. And covertly told the epitome of beauty is exactly the opposite of who you are. You will start to feel shit. No matter how trivial it may seem, the effects of self-hate that grows from that message are not trivial.

If you disagree that's fine, or should I say groovy [im petitioning to bring that word back], let me know in the comments why. I promise it will not emulate the cesspit that is Facebook comments...I will try really hard not to call you a "libtard asswipe" or "mayonnaise".

3. MY JOURNEY:

Literally, as I was writing this I has a snowball thought. I could try and source out some embarrassingly hot old photos to show my hair progress in detail. But I feel like that's a juicy enough idea that can be a blog post of its own. So I will bullet point how my journey was like, and go into more detail in an upcoming post. Keep your eyes peeled [as painful as it is to peel your eyes it will be worth it].

From my early age, my parents use to shave our hair. I know I'm pissed at them too.
At primary school I had my hair relaxed. If I remember correctly I eagerly asked my mumma to do it for me. So pumped to indulge in the white crack and burn my scalp - good times.
Kept that routine of relaxing for a while and fluctuating in between braids till around year 9/10.
Around that time I discovered the magic of weave. Magical moment. But only weave with leave out, so I was still relaxing my hair- it was a hot ass mess.
Year 11/12 I found the magic of full weave through an intense session of googling, after seeing a girl I knew with it. oh man, I had the biggest green eyes. But I did not understand how on earth it would work, I just knew it was pricey and my girl Tyra had it.
Late year 12/13, I loved weave and was simultaneously starting to grow to love my natural hair and start transitioning from relaxed to natural. After seeing the natural hair movement on youtube, I was like hell yes!!! but at the same time shit, this looks hard and painful and pricey and did I mention painful. Also, there was so much confusing lingo and just a lot to take in.
Year 13- Now, fully transition to my natural hair, embraced my hair, still more space for self-love to grow, however, I still find myself having unnecessary disdain toward it. However, it's mainly love nowadays.
ALSO, I FOUND WIGS, MAN I LOVE WIGS. IM GOING TO DO A POST ON WIGS. OH MAN. WIGS ARE GROOVY. Honestly, wigs make me so happy !!

Ok so whilst writing this post I gained like 20 more post ideas, isn't that fabulous.

But again,

Thanks for reading my LOVES !

See you sooner than you think.