00:42
Occupation: Ex- student
00:42Upload your CV here. 'ello sweetcheeks, Song : Gallup, NM // The Shouting Matches Right. So. Life is a...
Upload your CV here.
'ello sweetcheeks,
Song
: Gallup, NM // The Shouting Matches
Right. So.
Life is about to do that thing it
does best. I can just see it now waddling in.
An insidious grin etched on its
face, gripping its balls with iron-clad fists.
Invading my personal space and
ready to drop an almighty ball of shit full to the rim with change.
And it knows after the shock
subsides, and I inevitably get well acquainted to the stench, I will thank it
for shitting on me. Shaking its hand with vigour and gratitude. Wawu.
Life you, crap filled, magnificent
bastard - I love you never leave me.
This post is a casual catch up and an ode to change.
I'm
in a tumultuous stage. I am about to become a graduate. This stage is
characterised by deafening "i dont know's" and unswerving uneasiness.
Whilst simultaneously, it is endowed with the most thrilling mirage of
possibilities.
Isn't
this just the epitome of the crippling joy of early 20's.
Through being guided through life by the prescribed path carved out by our parents, teachers, education system etc. a concrete stepping stone was habitually arranged on our behalf. All that our lucky behinds just had to do was to look at the glistening stone of certainty ahead - and walk.
Through being guided through life by the prescribed path carved out by our parents, teachers, education system etc. a concrete stepping stone was habitually arranged on our behalf. All that our lucky behinds just had to do was to look at the glistening stone of certainty ahead - and walk.
"Nursery? Yay. SATS? Completed it, what next? GCSE's? Ok
done. Now what? A-Level's? *sigh* right, tick next? Undergrad? *SIGH*
fine, now what? ....
I
can piss off?
wait
a second?
I
can do a masters? ugh, gimme another option?
oi,
why are you pushing me?
...
ok bye... rude. "
Always
being clued up on the next step by an external source till university, for me,
implemented such an integral form of stability. This doesn't disregard the
turbulence that moulds our angst-ridden teen years. In fact, if the external
backbone was not provided during that period - lets just say, a lot of peoples
emo stage would have consisted of tons more black eyeliner. But now thankfully
I can say that the core of me has reached at least some form of metaphysical
firmness, that I think my frame of mind can bolster the immense paradigm shift
ahead. I am now the architect of my next stepping stone.
I'm
not foolish or entirely self-regarding to forget the crude quotidian nature of
life. In fact i'm particularly self-effacing when it comes to pondering
existence, even my own. Because as a wise African boy I know would say - "dude, we don't exist in a vacuum".
And it's true, our experiences, as unique and novel as they seem, are not. It
happened to others before you, and will continue to persist for others ahead of
you. But just because that is the case, doesn't mean it has to mean less. We can and should revel in the illuminating
newness of experience, because although about a million and one people have
graduated before - they aren't you. The collection of cells and perceptions
that make you you, have never experienced this.
Maybe
this flow of thought is partly to sooth the feeling of being just another human
churned out of the machine - in reality that is what it is. Let me not deceive
myself. But I guess what i'm trying to
say is, so what if that is the case, does that diminish the significance of it
all. Get churned out, on your own terms...?
I
don't know. [there's another deafening "i dont know's"], but i'm
excited.
What now tea?
So
since the last post. I handed in my two final essays, and my
dissertation!
Here's a picture of me rocking the "look, I wrote
words" look:
Now, these
upcoming weeks will be saturated with basking in the creative freedom that I
now have and have wanted that for SO long. The ability to paint, draw, blog,
make things, sing, drum, dance, learn, without an external guilt cloud over my
head. I really hope I make the most of it, and I will. Also the freedom will be
partnered with an engrossed job search on the side. I hope to make a separate
post about that.
Then in June, me and one of my best mates, head off to Thailand
for an adventure of a lifetime.
Can not wait!
Post that....[deafening "i don't know"
incoming]... I don't know!
But Lord knows, I cant wait for the glorious shit Life is about to
drop on me.
lots of love,
Tea x