05:36
Why I Hate Tinder: A Response.
05:36swipe right for fleeting validation that will leave you emotionally malnourished... or love:) I'm back bby ! ...
swipe right for fleeting validation
that will leave you emotionally malnourished... or love:)
I'm back bby !
So, tinder.
tinder tinder tinder.
tinder, tinder, tinder, tinder. tinder.You and I have had a tumultuous love affair. You'll always hold a special flame in the furnace that is my heart. But as of now, like right now, I bloody hate your guts.
• • •
My first relationship, conceived from a wild night of right swipes and constipated toilet sessions, was birthed from Tinders vaginal canal sometime in 2015.
A bouncing baby flame [figuratively thank god]
It was a great time, the beginning of a new flame. Especially the first of it's kind for me - endorphins galore. Tinder was promptly erased from my phone as I nurtured what I thought would be an everlasting inferno. I watched it burn and grow and learn to walk. I felt it run, sprint and jump.
Until one day it jumped in a lake.
And just as quickly as it was sparked, it dissipated.
Some time passed till good ol' tinder wiggled its way back into my fractured but pumping heart. At that time tinder was used for friendship and consolation. For those who think Tinder friendship is a myth spiralled in a web of deception, I advise you to rethink your position. I met some kind souls on there. It may not be a life comradeship type of friendship. But no matter how momentary that friendship lasted, it was secured as an interaction that I would look positively upon. Additionally, the sporadic dates I went on when I was more ready, were all at least with a pleasant, if not interesting person. Some more captivating than others but alas. So during this period, if a friend asked me how my Tinder experience was, I would reply with two thumbs up.
However, as time progressed things became so...transitory...so fleeting. And it came to my attention that that was the norm for most of my friends and a lot of people in general. I reckon I just got lucky and stayed lucky; until my luck ran out. Authentic connection became a scarcity and I just found myself slowly but surely slipping to tinder apathy.
Yet here it still is, monopolising my dating life.
why do i still have it?
Oh, theres a host of reasons:
•To fill the void within with fugacious distractions while I poop.
To be real with you, Tinder is sort of my dating comfort zone. Real life awards me with very little captivating romantic encounters.
Instead of Hugh Grant or Idris Elba approaching me, I get Uncle Godwin leaving his post outside Betfred to ask me "fine gehl where are going?". I digress.
Additionally, despite me shedding off my social ineptness that use to haunt me, I still find that I can access and present the core of me better online. Especially for first impressions. Although I get there eventually in real life, Tinder is for sure a cheatsheet.
I have not had a date that sprouted from a real-life coincidental meeting - actually I just clocked, I have twice. BUT, the majority of my 'dates' have had the prefix tinder. And that's ok I guess. I like tinder. It's just that, all the positives of endless accessibility is equilibrated by the negatives of pandemic ennui.
Is tinder worth it?
On the presupposition that you actually end up meeting up with guys and girls that appear non-serial killer-esque; I think Tinder is worth it. I feel like when Tinder is good, you gain a lot of experiences meeting up with an array of characters that can either give you a potential love interest, a passing or permanent friend or a learning experience.
However when Tinder is bad you either, lose faith in mankind's ability to fashion a conversation that doesn't make you want to enter the toilet you were secreting into, or you end up as a story on Crimewatch.
May the odds ever be in your favour.
Either way, I think I'm just going to keep riffling through tinder in my spare time until my real life fantasy meeting comes to fruition. Would you like to know what my fantasy is? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours in the comments?
Deal.
lets set the scene:
It's a breezy summer afternoon, airy and playfully light. People are in good spirits, wafting casually in and out of a bookshop/ cafe/library [either way I'm reading, probably something about existential despair] [but with a smile on my face]. Up walks a handsome man, most likely bearded and delicious. He asks me what I'm reading, I tell him it's about death. He sits down, interest piqued, we talk about existential stuff and how to best live life. Insert some witty jokes from both parties. He calls me cute, I tell him he has a nice bum. We get married.
Until that happens, I'll just swipe right on fleeting validation that'll leave me emotionally malnorished...or love??
Whats your fantasy? [hopefully it has less morbid intonations].
Have a fab day you fab person.
Tea
x
However when Tinder is bad you either, lose faith in mankind's ability to fashion a conversation that doesn't make you want to enter the toilet you were secreting into, or you end up as a story on Crimewatch.
May the odds ever be in your favour.
Either way, I think I'm just going to keep riffling through tinder in my spare time until my real life fantasy meeting comes to fruition. Would you like to know what my fantasy is? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours in the comments?
Deal.
lets set the scene:
It's a breezy summer afternoon, airy and playfully light. People are in good spirits, wafting casually in and out of a bookshop/ cafe/library [either way I'm reading, probably something about existential despair] [but with a smile on my face]. Up walks a handsome man, most likely bearded and delicious. He asks me what I'm reading, I tell him it's about death. He sits down, interest piqued, we talk about existential stuff and how to best live life. Insert some witty jokes from both parties. He calls me cute, I tell him he has a nice bum. We get married.
Until that happens, I'll just swipe right on fleeting validation that'll leave me emotionally malnorished...or love??
Whats your fantasy? [hopefully it has less morbid intonations].
Have a fab day you fab person.
Tea
x