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What now tea?

I AM GOOD. ARE YOU? 

hi hi petals,

Hope all is right in your respective worlds !!

When was the last time a friend, foe or [im]perfect tindering stranger tepidly dripped out the tired 

“ h o w a r e y o u ? ”

as if a slave disciplined to adhere to the tired demands of convention? The phrase has now morphed into a chameleon for care, commissioned by humanity to materialize at the start of every weary conversation with various weary faces. A bit harsh of me? ha yeaaah it is. But I genuinely do think its lost meaning in a very unfortunate way. "How are you?" or its even more perplexing cousin variation- “hows it going” is it referring to my life?... you want to know how my life is going? It's a bit long. Do you really want to know how my life is going? Well, ok mate, you better strap in and get comfy cause it's a 21-year long story condensed. It all really got going when my alien looking head got snatched out a really comfy cocoon, man I miss that place, bet its got an untarnished 5 stars on trip advisor... I doubt by this point the inquirer really cares about how it is going. 

Ok, I apologise for the antagonistically sarcastic tone. I guess what I'm trying to prompt is more consideration and recognition of the charged meaning underlying that phrase. To ask how someone is doing, or how it [being their life] is going, should for me be imbued with a sense of authentic care. A care that isn't easily rattled by anything other than a mundane "good thanks". 

 The desire for connection, whether it be platonic or romantic, is firstly a display of us being inherently social creatures, and secondly, it appears to be in dire need in today's emotional economy. I don't know how objectively true this is, but there seems to be a connection epidemic, a longing for something more, a yearning for pervasive understanding of the self by others and indeed ourselves. I could be projecting my own fear of being misunderstood [after all I'm only a pseudo-social scientist; minimal science, maximum lack of science] but I doubt this to be the case. My opinion on the fuel that generates this epidemic is something I plan on discussing in another blog post on the book "Happy" by Derren Brown. I'm half-way through and btw it's fantastic so far, v. insightful. But anyways, there was an endpoint I promise...

I think in the crux of my ramble is a hankering for more conscientiousness when it comes to the authenticity of day to day interactions. Confronting the mundanity of day to day "chat" with the virtues of potent genuineness. Practicing deafening defiance through the act of connection in a world of silent disconnect. 

In less convoluted terms: 

• Try to mean it when you ask how someone is. And be ready to listen and understand.
• Smile at strangers occasionally [as awkward as this is]
• Try to authentically connect with others

Disclaimers:

• I'm aware it's not easy. Some days you can not for the life of you give two rasclart shits about forging connections. Some people are not people you want to forge connections with. There is a myriad of reasons to obstruct authentic care from taking place. I recognise and accept that, but my whole message is about putting forward a conscious effort to try as much as is feasible. 

• I don't always adhere. There was one time I was so disinterested and disconnected in the formalities of a conversation sprung upon me at a party, that when it came time for me to expunge the dreary pleasantries of asking how they were I half-heartedly burped out "ha ha I'm good. How are you going?". Not only did we all just arrive but by then I was ready to be going by bus/train/teleportation. Recently I have been making that conscious effort. So if I happen to ask you "how you are going?" or any other variation of the question - I really do want to know. [9/10 times].

• Sometimes the recipient of an authentic "how are you" may still give you an inauthentic "good" For various reasons. Firstly we've kind of been programmed by convention to partake in the whole tango of polite conversation- we say and do what is expected. Secondly, they may actually be "good, thanks". Thirdly, they may just not feel open to expunging all their cobwebs to you- and that's perfectly fine. But at least in striving for authenticity you set up an aura of genuine openness and care. 

• Although, if the ultimate goal is creating a society prone to forging meaningful connection, even amongst perfect strangers, it's necessary that both members to the tango [ the asker and askee] are open in their questions and responses. This type of discourse requires trust. A synergised community is one that is imbued with endless trust. 

( rocking my lazy / cute mono brow )

HOW ARE YOU TEA?

"good thanks."

☺

tea x x x

POGINANTLY PINK

hi hi sexy senoritas/men !!!

Todays colour is Poginantly Pink ! [ theres no way of saying that without sounding like I'm hosting a remake of Art Attack........god I miss that show]

Anyways, have you heard the 13th doc has a vag! Do you think the regeneration process took a bit longer, you know, cause its never made one before? - just one of the many juvenile thoughts you'll find if you rummage my mind [not advisable]. But yeah, Jodie Whittaker is the brand spankin' new Doctor Who-hoo! How do I feel about it? Honestly, if you care, I think I can only be a good thing surely! 

• If you care about elevating women into more esteemed positions in society = its GREAT. she is a woman, so tick.
• If you stress pure equality, even in the trivial stuff = its GREAT. [the ratio of men to women Docs is now 12:1 ! so close to now being equal ! ! ]
• If you wanted the pick of the doctor to be on the basis of meritocracy = still GREAT! She's a wonderful actress on par with the previous actors. And I don't think this is a purely subjective opinion -I'm sure shes won awards 'nd shit.*

*did a quick google, she was only nominated 7 times for various awards....NOMINATIONS COUNT SHHH

So really, what is there to complain about! some real doctors have vags, hell I say it's about time fictional doctors w/ two hearts had vags too! they are great [when they're not pissing blood that is]. How do you feel about it?

~ some funny tweets interlude: ~

I read the "you bitch" Always Sunny style. And it gave me much joy.

I personally haven't seen anyone upset at the news [maybe cause I'm livin' that poncy middle class-just about shop in sainso- liberal progressive bubble lifestyle] but either way there need not be any uproar, surely. Although it is somewhat understandable that some find the change unnerving, as most humans don't take well to change.....*cough cough* 5p plastic bag charge *cough cough* red Starbucks cup *cough cough*  horse meat *cough cough* rise of China as an emerging superpower *cough cough* 

It's just small changes guys, chill.

Anyway, the news of the vag doc, was a v. good segway into the topic of Feminism I decided to weigh in on today.
Forewarning: I absolutely will not extensively cover all the nooks and crannies of the topic. BUT IM V. WILLING AND OPEN FOR AN HONEST AND CALM DISCUSSION ABOUT IT WITH ANYONE FROM WHATEVER POLITICAL STANDING OR WHATEVER...just talk to me- discourse is fab ! ! 

Also, this is not my dissertation hence i shall not be giving it all my intellectual prowess, neither will i have a bibliography, plus i may write your/you're incorrectly = you have been warned. [i may link a few smart folk if i can be arsed- ur at the wrong blog if you want nuance]

FEM•IN•ISM

Right, so most discussions/debates about feminism are, more often than not, premised on someone reciting the definition that arises from the first hit on google with a perplexed look as to why being a feminist isn't orthodox [I've previously many times been that someone]. that definition is:

The key word usually emphasised is equality! yay equality ! i like equality - in fact, most people would agree and strive for equality of some sort. But the first point of contestation is seemingly:

1. WHAT TYPE OF EQUALITY IS U STRIVIN' 4 M8?
   (me tryin' to make politics appealin' 4 de youthz demografikz of za uK...yo')

Equality is like vags, it can take many shapes and sizes you see. Your equality can be different from the sis next to you. (swap vag w/ peen if you have a peen, or just prefer peens). Basically, some may see the threshold for equality as lower than others. For instance, the main thing i come across in discussions is that "third wave feminism is chaotic and its just a bunch of privileged nancys just nitpicking at society about tampons". Firstly, i feel like with any broad ideology there will be undeniable chaos. For this reason, there are always splinters in all ideologies. From my understanding i don't think there is one political dogma that has a homogenous following. 

Secondly, this sort of statement stems from a disconnect in the conception of equality.
For some, the resilient efforts from first wave feminists to secure universal suffrage[right 2 votez] (for white women initially), is enough for equality. For some, making the personal political by dissecting the family structure that was otherwise kept away from political scrutiny, and giving women autonomy over their own lives, is enough for equality. For some breaking the wage gap (which some people think doesn't exist- and tbh i need to read about why they think that) is enough for equality.  For some being able to buy bloody tampons for non-extortionate £££ is needed for equality. What I'm trying to say is that it only becomes 'nitpicking' if you feel like equality has been WAM BAM THANK YOU MAM DONE. I personally think equality is fluid (give me a second to explain) so like, i think that because society is so vast, ever-changing and ever-moulding, i feel like the bar for equality is similarly as fluid. SURE 100% WOMEN ARE NOT TREATED AS COMPLETE SHIT LIKE BEFORE = yay unrefutable progress ! ! But that doesn't make the job done, the job for equality can never really be done. we can, however, get bloody closer and closer to a better more equal society though. Society and equality is like a seesaw- always striving for that equilibrium. You never know in some plot-twist of epic proportions, men could be seriously marginalised in the future, if society got so drunk and happened to miss the mark for equality- and in that case id like to think 'feminism' would strive for equality. 

Another comment i see about western third wave feminism is the opinion that its stupidly focusing on trivial issues rather than the serious marginalisations of "the sisterhood" in other developing countries. Honestly, that is a completely valid point to make. You can definitely weigh up issues in terms of importance = tampon tax vs rampant death/rape/violence towards women in some parts of the world.......ill pay the £2 extra. However, despite how valid it is, it shouldn't undermine the efforts for equality. Ill tell you why i think this. Firstly, western feminist imo should put effort into SUPPORTING THE NEEDS OF HIGHLY MARGINALISED WOMEN IN SOME "UNDERDEVELOPED COUNTRIES". and i emphasise support- not hijacking the narrative but supporting and empowering their causes. But this does not mean they can not allocate some of their resources and efforts in dealing with some so-called "trivial" injustices. Its not a zero-sum ordeal. As we all know women are great multitaskers [FUN FACT: EVERY SINGLE WOMAN TO EVER EXIST COULD MULTITASK. ask alexa]. 

I wanna carry on writing my opinions, but i have so much to say and I'm tired, so ill just write a Poignantly Pink part 2 when lightning strikes and makes it a series of its own = theres too much interesting nooks and crannies in the topic ahhhhh!!!!

my blog is ridiculous hahaha just half dumped content on ya arses- im sorry, pls luv me 

p.s i luv u all, but sleep........IS FOR THE WEAK

i am weak

night !

Tea x x