IF YOU WEREN'T DRUNK DID YOU REALLY GET CRUNK? Song:Wild Beasts // A Simple Beautiful Truth  I like a good drink, and like most of the British public, I'll be damned if I always diligently abided by the paternal wisdom of the state. The longsuffering suggestions to stick within the confines of 14 units a week for a woman, 21 for a man, are as followed as much as terms and conditions are read. Often regarded with a smug scoff and a complimentary shot. I can bet you that you have little to no clue what 14 units...

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SO YOU'VE GOT THE £27,000 PAPER IN YOUR PALMS, WHAT NEXT? howdy-do darlings, Song : The Flaming Lips // Do you Realize? I lay in bed. Locked eyed in limbo with the ceiling, playing a ruthless game of who will blink first.   Occasionally, I sit upright and plonk letters on to the screen. Digitally coating them in Tipex seconds later. Rolling choruses of deep sighs echo from my lips, as intrusive thoughts harmonise lyrics like: • so whats the next step babe? • how much did they say I have to start earning till I pay student loans back again? • why...

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1. PACKING: WHAT DID I SQUEEZE IN? hi groovy catz, Song : Tune Yards // Look at your hands  Seeing that my soon to be graduate ass is about to [hopefully] maneuver itself into a cushy graduate job and waddle into its cushy graduate life. I decided to do something that would give it a big ol' adventurous kick up the bum. A kick that'll send it flying 5931 miles; all the way to the magical land of Thailand. My ass isn't wandering alone for 3 weeks, oh no no, it's dragging my good pal @Bonjourchloe along for the...

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Upload your CV here. 'ello sweetcheeks, Song : Gallup, NM // The Shouting Matches Right. So. Life is about to do that thing it does best. I can just see it now waddling in. An insidious grin etched on its face, gripping its balls with iron-clad fists. Invading my personal space and ready to drop an almighty ball of shit full to the rim with change.  And it knows after the shock subsides, and I inevitably get well acquainted to the stench, I will thank it for shitting on me. Shaking its hand with vigour and gratitude. Wawu. Life...

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swipe right for fleeting validation that will leave you emotionally malnourished... or love:) I'm back bby ! So, tinder. tinder tinder tinder. tinder, tinder, tinder, tinder. tinder.You and I have had a tumultuous love affair. You'll always hold a special flame in the furnace that is my heart. But as of now, like right now, I bloody hate your guts. • • • My first relationship, conceived from a wild night of right swipes and constipated toilet sessions, was birthed from Tinders vaginal canal sometime in 2015. A bouncing baby flame [figuratively thank god] It was a great time,...

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