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GRAD-TITUDE: THE UPGRADE TO ADULTHOOD
13:28SO YOU'VE GOT THE £27,000 PAPER IN YOUR PALMS, WHAT NEXT?
howdy-do darlings,
Song : The Flaming Lips // Do you Realize?
I lay in bed.
Locked eyed in limbo with the ceiling, playing a ruthless game of who will blink first.
Occasionally, I sit upright and plonk letters on to the screen. Digitally coating them in Tipex seconds later. Rolling choruses of deep sighs echo from my lips, as intrusive thoughts harmonise lyrics like:
• so whats the next step babe?
• how much did they say I have to start earning till I pay student loans back again?
• why did football decide to not come home, just when I came back home from thailand?
• I hope I can actually do something I like, so my toilet breaks are for just that - secretion.
• so if I start calling myself a creative, is that me inconspicuously conceding to the pretentious millennial archetype? one that, like, eats brunch and believes work should be the act of doing something you like.
• can a country get menopausal? better that than climate change to explain this heat.
• damn it. I blinked.
Ladies and gentlefellows, behold a graduate.
We are a strange breed. Not quite 'adult' enough to moan about tax or miraculously morph into the conservatives we are warned we will become. Not quite 'kid' enough to do shit-all all day and not quake in the belief that the boogeyman is coming to get us from underneath our beds. The boogeyman in this instance being the all-encompassing weight of hollow worthlessness and nasty nihilism. Yes, he is still living underneath our beds. Don't judge him. Have you seen the state of the economy?
To be a graduate is to receive a barrage of pop up notifications, aggressively reminding you to upgrade your IOS to adult. All the while your storage is either full of self-aggrandizing selfies and unhelpful apps. Or you’re using Android. In which case you are already 98. [Android users I still love you, apologies]. Point being, you’re in a purgatory of sorts - actively waiting for the next stage. Although being in limbo is a pre-requisite of change, and change is a pre-requisite of life, its bloody annoying at times. And you don't have to get stuck there. It is easy, I think, as a new grad to feel like you're playing stuck in the mud with yourself whilst everyone else runs amock. But as we all know comparison, is almost never a fun game to play [unless you're playing spot the difference].
I'll leave you with the parting words from the lyrics of the tune of this post - take what you will from it:
Locked eyed in limbo with the ceiling, playing a ruthless game of who will blink first.
Occasionally, I sit upright and plonk letters on to the screen. Digitally coating them in Tipex seconds later. Rolling choruses of deep sighs echo from my lips, as intrusive thoughts harmonise lyrics like:
• so whats the next step babe?
• how much did they say I have to start earning till I pay student loans back again?
• why did football decide to not come home, just when I came back home from thailand?
• I hope I can actually do something I like, so my toilet breaks are for just that - secretion.
• so if I start calling myself a creative, is that me inconspicuously conceding to the pretentious millennial archetype? one that, like, eats brunch and believes work should be the act of doing something you like.
• can a country get menopausal? better that than climate change to explain this heat.
• damn it. I blinked.
Ladies and gentlefellows, behold a graduate.
We are a strange breed. Not quite 'adult' enough to moan about tax or miraculously morph into the conservatives we are warned we will become. Not quite 'kid' enough to do shit-all all day and not quake in the belief that the boogeyman is coming to get us from underneath our beds. The boogeyman in this instance being the all-encompassing weight of hollow worthlessness and nasty nihilism. Yes, he is still living underneath our beds. Don't judge him. Have you seen the state of the economy?
To be a graduate is to receive a barrage of pop up notifications, aggressively reminding you to upgrade your IOS to adult. All the while your storage is either full of self-aggrandizing selfies and unhelpful apps. Or you’re using Android. In which case you are already 98. [Android users I still love you, apologies]. Point being, you’re in a purgatory of sorts - actively waiting for the next stage. Although being in limbo is a pre-requisite of change, and change is a pre-requisite of life, its bloody annoying at times. And you don't have to get stuck there. It is easy, I think, as a new grad to feel like you're playing stuck in the mud with yourself whilst everyone else runs amock. But as we all know comparison, is almost never a fun game to play [unless you're playing spot the difference].
HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS LIMBO THEN YOU GORGEOUS GRAD?
Don't lay in bed or play games with your ceiling would be my top tea-p.
Following that I would say you should:
- Leave your house. Regularly.
- Set a schedule.
- Recognise your daily accomplishments.
- Learn from your off days.
- Compare your efforts, not your outcomes.
- Have a persistent sense of perspective.
- Keep that chin up baby...I mean *adult.
Gradulthood isn't easy, but just like every IOS update notification, we will cave in and upgrade.
Huge congratulations to all of you recent graduates! You are, and will, do just fine.
I'll leave you with the parting words from the lyrics of the tune of this post - take what you will from it:
"You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round"
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round"
Tea x x
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